Love Wins

*Sharing an excerpt from my morning pages. Pure stream of consciousness. Welcome to my inner world!*

Love wins. Always. Things can feel broken, impossible, painful, dark, full of hate. But on the other side of all of that is love. Just out of view. Hiding from us until we're ready to surrender to its purity. All the non love is meant to show us what real love is - what we should always strive for. Then why don’t we? Why do we settle for anything less? Because we're afraid.

Nothing hurts more than a broken heart - it sucks the life right out of you. We feel like we can’t breath. So we run away from real love so we don’t have to feel that pain again. We self sabotage so we can be in control. So we can keep ourselves together. So we can break our own hearts instead of letting someone else have that much power over us. Our mind tells us we will get hurt, we will embarrass ourselves. Love will leave us and we believe it… but the thing is, our mind wouldn’t be saying those things if love wasn’t there… it’s the presence and reality of that love that scares our mind into thinking it needs to protect us from future pain.

If your heart didn’t feel that love, your mind wouldn’t be trying to protect you from it. But here's the thing, when we listen to that fear, we block ourselves from feeling love. We hurt our chances of experiencing love's magic. We build walls around our hearts because it feels safer. Having these walls around our hearts makes our mind feel in control and keeps it comfortable. Why? Because it knows what to expect that way. Without walls, without fear of love, the world becomes different. Everything changes. Love is the universal field that connects and unifies. It's unpredictable, it's vulnerable, it's feeling, it's intelligent, it's intuitive, it's hopeful, it's beautiful. It's chaos and art. Where do things go wrong? Why are we afraid of love? Because we don’t want to experience more pain. We don’t want to trust and get hurt. We don’t want to put our hearts out there and have it shoved back in our face and not appreciated. But all those hurts are showing us everything we need to heal. It's showing us the darkness inside us we need to bring to light. It's a curse of our past. We will keep reliving the same evil until we learn the lesson inside it, until we heal, until we look at why we feel so broken. We need to sit in our pain, feel it deeply, understand it and believe there's beauty on the other side. My heart has been broken many times and all I know is you learn, grow, and become more of who you are meant to be when your heart is in pieces. When you’re in pain. When you lose people you love. There's so much beauty in being broken. In finding your strength. In standing back up. In putting your heart back together again. In healing. In doing that all for myself, something awakened within me - and now the light won't turn off. Love feels endless. It feels powerful beyond measure. So while a broken heart feels sad, it can also feel excited and accepting of what's breaking down because it means something better is brewing. It means that love wins and it means there's hope. It's all about practicing having faith in something bigger than yourself. Hoping for the best and following your heart. Every time you follow your heart, you learn how to love yourself. You learn how to heal yourself. That’s what we need - to let God work through us - to let love lead the way. There's nothing wrong with you if things don’t work out as planned. In fact, if things don’t work out as planned, then it’s a sign you followed your heart. The heart doesn’t follow plans, but it does have a vision and mission and it won’t stop until it fulfills them.

So, dare to dream and follow that dream and let it take you where you need to go. Overwhelmed? Good. Scared? Good. Heart beating out of your chest? Good. You're feeling! Follow those feelings. Dive in the deep end. Swim around a bit. Remember who you are. Remember what you love. Remember what you lost. Remember that nature holds you. Remember all the feels. Listen to music, let it take over every cell of your body and heal you. Scream! Dance, move your body - anything to make you feel where you were numb. Treasure it. Feel the power inside you. Let it wash over you. Let it lead you. Glory to God.