Find Your Hidden Treasure

On the outside my life has always seemed "perfect," but my inner world and everything that lived behind slammed doors tell a different story. Loss entered my life at a young age, and darkness found me in my early teens. Death, vi

olence, suicide, injury, addiction, abuse, neglect… you name it; I experienced the painful ripples of it to some degree.

I'm a lover, and I fight for people's hearts and souls, even at my expense. I was taught to love someone unconditionally which is the most beautiful gift. It is also my kryptonite because I learned to love even if it hurts me. While this fortitude helped me excel in many areas of my life, it also made me a ticking time bomb. Our bodies are not designed to harbor the amount of pain, resentment, fear, sadness, and anger I buried inside and hid behind my smiling face.

Outside of excelling in school and sports, and then in the corporate world, I spent my spare time studying neuroscience, psychology, and consciousness to understand pain and suffering. Unfortunately, an intellectual understanding of this type of darkness did not armor me with the ability to find a way out of the painful storms other than through creating art. It wasn’t until a near-death experience and a couple of dates with God that I started to take the emotional and physical toll this was having on me seriously.

In 2017, my "real" healing journey began. By that I mean, it was no longer a game of dissociation or escaping the pain to survive. It was an adventure that required diving into it and fully feeling the pain for what felt like the first time. 

I always believed everything was happening for a reason. That there was a purpose in the pain. That there was a hidden treasure waiting for me if I didn’t give up. I'm glad I listened to that voice because it gave me the faith and fuel to keep fighting. It also gave me the courage to ask for and accept help which led me home. And to you. The greatest blessing of all.

Here's to feeling, healing, and honoring the purpose of the pain of our past.