Hi Heart

*Sharing an excerpt from my morning pages. Pure stream of consciousness. Welcome to my inner world!*

Hi heart. How you feelin? Sadness bubbles up. The subconscious ocean inside me calls. The waves wash over me. Plenty of swells already this morning. There's so much pain in this world. Tears fill my eyes. Oh honey, there's so much love. Tears roll down my cheeks. A release. A cleanse. For all that pain and darkness, there's infinitely more love tenderly holding it. Waiting patiently for our surrender. There's nothing I want more than to help people heal the hurt. Nothing I want more than to pay it back and share all I've learned through my journey in the darkness and into the light. Nothing I want more than to be a container for love and healing. For learning. For growth. For play. For expression. For feeling all the feels. Nothing I want more than to help people unlock the sweet gifts and treasures in their most challenging life experiences, especially the traumatic ones. Those ones are where the exponential growth lies. The opportunity waits. Where love nestles and waits to bloom. And heal. And hold. And teach. And guide. But if those traumatic memories stay buried or frozen inside us, it stunts our growth. Our natural evolution becomes stalled. What remains in the shadows holds us back and makes us afraid. If we dive in, those experiences fuel us. They power our purpose. They move us. They make us authentically who we are destined to become. We all have emotions and stories and pain, but it's up to us to share them so we can see how we're all connected. There's nothing to be ashamed of. We've all made mistakes. We've all hurt ourselves and hurt another. We've all felt regret. It's what we do with that regret that makes us different. Mending the bond can be painful because it requires taking responsibility, owning what we did and not denying the pain. It's in feeling the pain that we learn not to do it again. That we learn how to love ourselves and others better. The more we deny or pretend it didn’t happen, the more we'll do it again. We create more and more pain and suffering until we look it in the face. Until we surrender and ask for forgiveness. Yes from another, but more from yourself. You have to forgive yourself to learn the lesson. To see and understand how your pain was ruling you. Just because you've done bad things doesn’t mean you're a bad person. Just because you did something wrong doesn’t mean there's something wrong with you. What is bad and what is wrong is if you continue to ignore the pain, the hurt, the suffering and continue to pass it on. Tell yourself it stops with me. NO MORE. When you feel your insides screaming, when you feel that fire in your belly growing and growling, when you feel like you're going to blow… stop. FULL STOP. Breathe. Keep breathing. Deeply. From your belly. Add a pause between the pain and your reaction. Talk to it gently. With tenderness. Love it and release it safely later. Ask it what it needs. What it wants. Communicate that from your heart with those around you instead of breathing fire onto them. Instead of exploding on them. Instead of pulling away. And if you do breathe fire or explode or pull away, forgive yourself and ALWAYS mend the bond. No matter how hard it feels to own and accept the pain. Always apologize, sincerely. Take ownership or else you'll have trouble escaping it. The pain will follow you around like a shadow until you turn and face it. It will storm through your life until you show it the light and love it deserves.